Sunday, March 14, 2010

Honest, well behaved men

♥ If you have a wonderful husband that works hard to take care of you and would do anything just for you and your family, then repost this as your status to give the honest, well behaved men out there the recognition that they deserve. Because great men are few and far between, and I have one of them ♥

When I read the above comment on a few of my Facebook Friends' status, at first I was tempted to copy and paste it on mine as well, but then reading it again I realized that to be fair, a lot more needed to be said, otherwise I would be terribly unfair to all the men that took advantage of the Women's Rights movement to bring themselves to a higher level.
When women fought for their rights, they were not just getting their independence, they were in fact giving both, men and women, the opportunity to bring themselves to a higher level, where men are no longer just a "pay cheque" and women have the freedom to choose their future.
When one looks at a country like India, with all the spiritual gurus, one kind of wonders why they still have the "arranged marriages"!
I personally find it contradictory.

As a 21st Century woman, I think it's important to recognize the men that support their women through good times and bad times, the ones that have taken house chores so their women could have careers, the ones that take care of the kids while their women are in school and even the ones that have no kids because they chose to better themselves first and by the time they were ready for kids it was too late...

I consider myself a lucky women that got herself one of those good men, because he has been supporting all my craziness with a smile and a kiss... he gets up at 7:00am to take me to work when he could be in bed sleeping, he cooks dinner when I'm working and he drives me to professional events and picks me up later without any complaints, he celebrates my successes and he lifts me up when I am down.

It just wouldn't be fair to say that he works hard without explaining the level!


  1. Well behaved? Oh, sure, and I will pass it on to all the other women out there every time I see one who knows how to act right so that the "good ones" will see they are recognized.

    What a sexist jerk you are.

  2. First off I loved the post, I agree these posts on facebook need a bit of refining before being posted over and over.

    ...and to "Paul"

    are you RETARDED? did you even read the post in relation to the post coming from Facebook? If anything her blog is "anti-sexist".

  3. Paul, it's too bad that you didn't understand my post, because we have a lot in common, my friend!

  4. I did read it, and I understand it perfectly well. I still maintain that you are missing the point. There really isn't any substantive difference between what you opted against putting on your facebook page and what you wrote here, and you entirely missed the insulting nature of the OP.

    In fact, in your own words, you almost reposted it to your page until you thought about men that served women well in a role outside the traditional one. You bought the patronizing nonsense about men who "behave" without blinking.

    Both of the posts in question reduce men to mere utility, patted on the head for dedicating everything they do to whatever choice a woman makes on how she lives her life.

    This is indeed the musings of a 21st century woman. But I don't mean that in a good way at all.

  5. It works both ways, Paul! There are lots of women that dedicate everything they do to whatever choices men make on how they(men)live their lives.
    How can you accept one way and not the other?

  6. I absolutely agree with you Camisola Preta .
    When women fought for their rights they “worked” for both women and men. Giving possibilities of choice.
    Men also benefited when they stopped for being just the provider of the money in the family (just the provider, because the woman always have controlled the family economy, it was depending on her) and they had the possibility for being seen by women as they are, as individuals, human beings, of course with all the imperfections that this can mean.
    The problem is that roles were much defined and both man and women had to adjust to the new reality and that takes time. There are still many man and women confused with what is expected from them in society. What is “right” or what is “wrong”.
    But the fact is that there is no “right” or “wrong” it’s all a matter of choice.
    It’s all a matter of choices, individual choices that men interacting with women do.
    That’s why I disagree with that FB post when they say “well behaved men”, what does this represent?
    It can signify different things for different people!!! It’s all a matter of perspective.
    The truth is that women fighting for being accepted with equal rights as men brought them both to a higher level.
    In my opinion we can’t talk about feminism nowadays, which was right in the early years of women fights, “new feminism” is about accepting the differences while promoting the equal worth and dignity of both sexes.
    Of course with all ideologies we can expect fundamentalists… pity.

    ... and Paul, just let me ask you something... why are you so bitter? Have you been mistreated by women? If so don’t orientate your anger to all women, focus on those and try to resolve it.

    In recent years there has been much discourse on male identity, or masculinity and many men and women seem to be confused about what it means to be a man, so that there will never be a consensual definition of masculinity, although there do exist general stereotypes of masculinity which have, unfortunately, become so deep-rooted in our culture that they are seen as somehow natural. Masculinity is not an object, it is not a constant. It is constantly evolving and reinventing itself, and is subject to change based on culture and interaction.

    Think about it, don’t be what you call others, without the right to do it!


  7. Thank you Seeker for your comment, I love the way you stated your point of view, you have touched upon my point and gone even deeper, better expressing what I was saying.

    I want to thank The Mayor for his participation and support,I feel privileged to have you on my side.

    I also want to thank Paul for his honest opinion, that without it we wouldn't have been able to engage in such controversial discussion.